i just hope

im not losing my mind

would you catch me if i fall
or would you drop me farther then i could ever drop myself

i think we all know the answer to that
the question is::
do i really?

sound familiar?
it does to me
and its not a song i want to sing
or hum
or hear

so lets stay away from that

far away.


now i really sound crazy.

Just a thought....

more of a mental note:::

Man, I'm pathetic

sometimes i get into a mood
and idk
i wonder why that thought came into my head

i dont even feel that way now

do i?
subconscious conscious mind.
(?)

analyze that for once.


i think its just the book i finished reading

it was pretty depressing
lol.
that must be it....











right?

i was just thinking...

it never is 50-50

its always
75-25
60-40

maybe even 99-1

and im always
the 1

always the 1
but never the one

idk
i was reading this book Mercy by Jodi Picoult a few months ago
and thats what it said.

"You know its never fifty fifty...someone falls in love first. someone puts someone else up on a pedestal..."

its kinda sad i know...
but sometimes i wish

maybe ill be the 99
and not the 1

maybe ill be the 100

but for now im still
the 1

and isnt 1 the loneliest number?

well now...

i guess looking back ive already chosen

[[see post: how in the light of one night...]]

there is no way i could be with the guy ive liked this long
and in a way i guess thats fine and dandy

[[haha i said dandy]]

as for the guy that fits?
he's way too far for my reach
[[even though i grasp the air frantically between us]]

so where does this leave me?



oh yeah thats right...


alone.
again.




or am i?



no wait....
im still alone.


*sigh*
oh well...

i am beat.

seriously
i just got home fifteen minutes ago
and i am sooo tired

work sucks man.
:(
but i need to do what i need to do

it makes me kinda sad to see that my little cousin wants to work so bad
i tell him that he shouldnt.
the kid is 8years old and he wants a job.
i told him no way in hell i was ever going to allow that
he shouldnt need one yet.
what he needs is to stay young

staygolden
[[As someone would say]]

because when he grows up
he's gonna miss this.

i know i miss it :p


but whatever.

i may be growing older
but nowhere in that does it say
i have to grow up.

The movie in my mind

Just played.
it was a dream that i knew
was the story ive been waiting for

and im so excited
it just might be the best story ive written so far
i already know how to start and where to end
everything was in the dream
EVERYTHING!

God i love my life!

this is bullshit

I hate applying for colleges

What does it matter
Who my parents are or what they do
Or how many siblings I have or how old they are

Seriously

Whee!

So today was pretty fun
I went out with my aunt
To help plan my cousin's 5th birthday
It was a lot of fun
This party is gonna be awesome :)


It was soo great to hang out
With my Tita (Aunt in filipino)

:)
It was like when I was little and she used to take me out to the park and everything
We even got ice cream after

Well...
Technically gellato
But same difference
:)

Ilovemytita!