Trade in your sentimental values for diamonds and pearls

Originally written on: 03.17.2007 1:58pm
Current mood: contemplative
got a postcard from my former self saying "how you been"?

baby seasons change but people dont...
does that not make me a person? i change more than ever. weird huh?
it snowed yesterday and was 80* two days ago. maybe im like the weather. ever changing with a slight chance of unstable. cold one day warming up to you the next.
went through some old stuff the other day. found a few things ive been looking for most of my life in a box under my moms things. sometimes the things we need are right underneath us. sorry if that applies too much to life.
maybe i should let my thoughts do the talking. with a pen glued to my hands book hiding my face and headphones making me deaf. sleeping less and dreaming more.
computer battery low. plug me in to a wall. charge me up as i write things down
fossil bags for a fossil of a girl. burning bridges for old times sake and forsaking those old times.
pressing refresh and losing everything i just wrote and sighing in relief as i remember it all. (again sorry if that applies to life. maybe somethings that are refreshed should not be remembered)
using grammar and punctuation as a chance to be punctual.
trying to sound witty and poetic and having it come out sloppy and pathetic.
leave it to me to overanalyze dreams and thoughts.
stealing lines making them my own. rephrase and copyright. making things wrong look so right. (&&i want these words to make things right but its the wrongs that make the words come to life)
i talk in riddles and i confuse myself. but confusion is good. confusion means a break through.
quoting songs and making feelings. finding stories hidden in old notebooks. never finished. always edited. like me. random thoughts make random words. looking through blurry pictures and finding blurry images in my 20/20 mind.
its odd what you come up with when your blinded by snow.
blindingbindingforgottenforgivenlostlooselove.
i squish words together. write them small and pretend theyre not there.
no rehearsal no scripts. going onstage cold. frozen and making up lines as i go.

maybe someday they'll remember me. read me. write me down. drink me up say im sour.
but im just as sweet as a lemony treat.
previewing and posting so all is not lost. remember kids "Jesus saves". sounding cliche for more time in the day.
leave cars burried in snow dig me out as soon as i go. just a sour bottle baby girl with eyes the size of baby worlds.
reading blogs of my idols wondering if theyre real. hoping someday ill be an idol to someone. have them question if im real.
sanity is insane and overrated. calling in the shrinks to shrink me
play the what if game with me and george as he stares over the bridge and realizing his "wonderful life" is filled to the brim. good deeds and bad habits. listening to the music in my mind. wondering if someone will read this and find me sane instead of throwing it to the pits.
writing to do lists on a procrastinators whiteboard and accidentally erasing things not accomplished. changing the date to make you feel better.
dreamcatchers should work better. catch my dreams send them to the sky and hope that my time wont pass me by.

afraid to stop writing. scared to start living. ready to start loving and forgetting to read the fine print.
characters on the wall stare at me. heiroglyphics of a lost time. and a newfound me.living like its forever january16th. praying to see those four lovers again.

i find myself paused in the moment rewinding and playing bad times fastforwarding and skipping the good. im like a broken vcr with a lost remote. in a remote area.

playing with words toying with emotions like a child in a cradle. quoting shakespeare and understanding him. trying to apply to the world just as well as he.
rhyming when needed and needing the twist. taking pictures of the same things changing.
trying not to get lost in everyday trends and finding out that im just waiting to be found.
make things vauge and dont ask questions. pray that one day i remember what i mean when i reread. writers cramp.

i wrote down in my journal that i feel like i cant speak. muted by emotion. write down when im down. pen scratch my paper. hoping my paper doesnt cut like lost "best" friends.

we are the dreamer and you are the dream i can write it better than you ever felt it.

pray for rain. hope for snow. put me in your memory box. lock me away and lose the key. im pandoras box. open me up see whats inside. find hope.
living with passion. tony talks and dyer's dire thoughts. thinking because i am (praising descartes for the quote cursing him for geometry)

upload some pictures. make them good. mirror pics reflect on your life.

rip off my price tag. im worth more than you think.

i am the rescuer. saving lives drowning souls.
i am the continuum. with not enough momentum.
i am the sleepless. making insomnia the latest trend.
i am the brilliant. dropping names forgetting life.
i am the carrier. carrying you through my life.