In order to confuse the public...

Im going to completely contradict myself.

in the same way that i hate talking to you.
i also dont.

not at all.
i just hate the timing

you always had bad timing.

but i will give you one thing:
that must mean you have some consistency.

I find that I am...

the BEST friend
the best person to talk to when everything around you is falling apart and every thing is hurting and everything feels like its making you want to just die right there and you just want to talk about nothing bullshit blabber laugh cry scream rant [just like i am right now]

I also find that I should be
the WORST friend
the worst person to tell you that youre just completely selfish and that i dont want to hear about your bullshit i dont want you to rant to me not just yet i dont care if you feel like shit i dont care

Being the Best may have its perks
I cant help it if I want to be the Worst.

At least...
to you anyway.

How is it that I always find myself...

talking to you?
and answering your questions?


Even when i know i shouldnt...


Sometimes when i talk to you...
i feel a little bit...
lost?
i dont know how to describe it.

its like...
a black hole...

no better..
a supernova
A star explodes
and it has so much power that
it could cause a black hole or a new star...

most of the time its the black hole
but i get sucked into it thinking its the star
and i dont know why but i keep the conversation going
no matter how much i dont care
its just habit i guess.
and old habits die
they die hard.


talking to you makes me want to cry.
each.
and.
every.
time.
its like a little part of me remembers everything and i cant breathe

and the weirdest part is
i dont understand why.

i have moved on.
but every time i turn around

you manage to pop out of nowhere
like pop! goes the fucking weasel!

and then just as fast as you came
you disappear again

at your own time.
in your own regard.
when you need me.
there you are.
when you dont anymore
there you go.

so go.
go!
Go!
GO!
leave me alone already!

because something tells me
i dont want you to.

how confusing am i?
i am confusing how?
confused am i?
yes.
yes i am confused.

:]

Im taking my road test tomorrow morning

but i have to wake up really early so i can practice one last time with my daddy and snowflake :p

either wayy..

last night was fuckin amazing
cobra starship / forever the sickest kids / HIT THE LIGHTS!! / Sing it loud
at starlandd
:]

it was the best night everrr :]
we met a band called "On the victrola" selling some EPs
on line waiting...

i got an HTL shirt [[and i think it was Omar who sold it to me :p]]
I got to talk to Omar and Dave who wished me an early happy birthday
Nate from Sing it Loud signed my bag [[ with a "happy birthday amanda" ]]
and so did the lead singer from FTSK

:]
it was amazinngggg

THE BEST NIGHT EVERRRRR!!!

Love is a memory

i wrote my first "love" song for the first time in three years


stupid english class
[[purest form of blasphemy right there]]

w/e
im an idiot thats all :p

Wow...

He really did forget about me



That's comforting

Loose lips sink ships...

I honestly think my uncle forgot about me :(
I've been here for an hour and a half :(

Luckily the waitress here is really nice and she knows me and that I always wait here...

Sometimes I wonder...

...If I bore you with my teenaged rants
I hope not
And if I do I greatly apologize

I used to say this was more for me than for you
But I find now that I want it to be for you
I want everything I write to be for you.
My reader.
Because what a would a writer be
If he had no one to read

Just like what would a speaker be
If there were no one to listen

Waiting...

Again...

But that's fine
In exactly one week
I won't have to wait anymore


We had a blood drive today at school and I feel bad because I went down there
I filled out all the forms
And I waited
(See...I'm always waiting)
For them to process me

Only to find out that I couldn't donate blood
Because I am 5days too young

It kinda made me sad
I really and truly wanted to give blood

Oh well..
Maybe some other day


And is someone seriously smoking in here?!

Wow...

I can't wait til thursday!!!
I get to see Hit the Lights
(Even though they're just opening for Cobra Starship...I don't care)
I'm sooo excited

And yup
Someone is definitely smoking

I can smell it
It makes me feel like I can't breathe

Which is weird
I've been around people who smoke
I'm used to the smell
But if I don't get up and move

After a while I feel like I'm choking or light headed

i absolutely love how...

Everyone and their friggin mother went to the Q today.

I swear
We didn't even have a chnce to breathe
Within an hour we had 40 customers
Within two hours we had a little over 60

I was like O.O
Where the hell are all these people coming from?!

I couldn't understand it :(
Luckily we're done and now we're just waiting for rides home

I'm beattt :(

I'm kinda peeved :p

For some reason this is the ONLY website that's working on my phone

Oh well...
:)


Blehhh
I'm not feeling good today. I just feel gross
I woke up with stomach pains and a majorr headache

But here I am in school
I didn't wanna risk anymore absenses :(

Love is not a victory march, its a cold and its a broken Hallelujah

I'm currently obsessed with that song :p

Today has been weird...
I feel...semi nauseous and extremely blehhhh

Which is strange since I'm almost always cheery on rainy days :p

I'm stuck sitting at a pizza hut waiting for someone to pick me up and take me home :(

Ít is absolutely the most...indescribable day

And wow I'm just bumping into everyone from my french three class aren't I?

Strangee



I wanna watch v for vendetta
(Because it is an epic movie :p)

i guess that would make today history

President Barack Obama

Well technically not until January 20th but still...

I honestly don't know if I'm happy with this
But I'm not upset about it either

I really don't know what to think about it

But I guess we'll have to see what happens
I'm kinda skeptical
But then again I'd be skeptical if McCain won too.

I hope something great comes out of this...I hope we do get change and I hope we manage to find some way to fix things before its too late

And wow this kid is obnoxious

I think that maybe ill try to keep up with politics lately
I want to prepared when I can vote.