I remember...

when i was little
i used to love going to the playground

id always run straight to the swings.
i loved the feeling of going higher and higher
like i was flying above the park.
and when i felt confident enough
id jump and manage a perfect landing onto the wooden chips

but as i got older
i became wary.
i would be afraid that i would fall if i went too high
or swung to fast
i was even afraid of going so high that id spin over the top like in the cartoons

lately though,
ive been flying again
higher and higher still
and that euphoria of being suspended midair waiting to land
suddenly hit me
i realize now that i didnt think things through
i didnt calculate my jump.
nor did i see where i could land.


the truth is ive already jumped
and fallen.
oh ive fallen far.

but what if there are no chips for my perfect landing?

the real question is:
will i make it?
will i land on my feet?
or will i crash and land with a bruised knee and an even more bruised ego?


i guess only time will tell...


leave it to me to take a silly childhood memory
and make it an extended metaphor for everything thats been happening :p

...and baby, I'm no longer afraid...<3

lol. okay so thats a complete and utter lie.

I'm terrified.
I think I made the same mistake all over again.

I feel like I opened up Pandora's box and everything has been released once more

but at least theres hope.

There is always hope.
even for the hopeless.

leave it to me...

to have an epiphany on a snow day.

I guess what im trying to say is...

Its nice to have money
and its okay to want it.

but when you find that you NEED it...
then it starts to make you feel like...
thats all youre ever going to need
then it fuels you to find ways to get more
and more
and more

until youre like a druggie looking for his next fix.

i dont want to feel that way
ever.

What is the price of a dream?
is it $100?
$1000?

$50,000?
$200,000?

your entire life?

and whats the price of ignoring a dream?

hell, what is a dream?

ill tell you.
its something that we create for ourselves in order to try to put meaning into our lives.
a reason to do what we want to
we make it a symbol of happiness.
and when we cant reach it
or even worse when we finally do...
then it wasnt our dream to begin with

no. it was something more that we wanted...

I think i know what i want
the question is:
am i wanting it because i want it?
or because of what it symbolizes?

Dammit this sucks

I hate how the only thing stopping me from my college of choice
is money

What is it that makes money sooo friggin important!?
Its become the means of a Secondary reinforcement for everyone
the symbol of everything good and secure and safe and the definition of success.

What should it matter?!
Its PAPER!!
[[well actually i read somewhere that its cotton and linen blend..who knows?!]]
Either way.

why should it be the basis of everything in this world?

Is this what it all comes down to?
Is this what we live for?
To make the most money on the planet?

I dont want that.
i mean. im not saying i dont want to make money
im just saying....why should it mean so much?

idk.
maybe im hypocritical.
because in the end.
im probably going to want money
who doesnt?
right?

akajdflkajdfljaew;iofnde
idk.

just a thought.

I am amazed

at my good fortune

to be living during such a pivitol moment in history

This i know
will be one of those moments
that someone, someday will ask...
"Where were you when..."


from the death of Princess Diana
to 9/11
to the inaugaration of President Barack Obama

and so many that i have missed
and so many that i have yet to see...

:]

5 Haikus written after my history midterm

A haiku for you:

Life is incomplete

Without your voice in my ear

"Price Check on Aisle Four"

Here's Another:

Inaugaration

An intro to something new

Barack Obama*

Maybe one more:

Loving you is quick

Forgetting you is harder

Frosty the Snowman

Okay Okay, one more more:

Fill in the bubbles

With five paragraph essays

George Washington

Lalala...:

Let us make memories

Underneath the city sky

Florecent Lighting

A Haiku for Anu:

This chinese food sucks

"Here have a fortune cookie"

Hippopotamus

*originally Let us make change now

OMGOMGOMGGGG

I GOT IN TO THE

UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTERRR!!!!!

This year...

just started.
and its already kinda weird.


it'll get better though.

i hope :p

So I've decided...

to forward every message

repost every bulletin

email 938409238091809438094 people the same goddamn thing

and maybe then

i'd win.





haha.
jayykayy.
[[just ask freud.]]