sooo....

its kinda annoying typing with a brace on each hand

but considering both of my wrists are killing me


i dont really mind.

Some people in this world...

are colossal douchebags.

seriously


anywayyy
we're reading Catcher in the Rye now in English
and one of the topics of the day:


are people fake?



FUCK YEAH.


welcome to dramaville.



hopefully not everyone is like that...

Prove me wrong
I dare you.

Ohhh Chariott....

you make me wanna spread my arms and fly...

<3

so yeah i got a job....





























at Q.

lmaooo

yeah well
good pay
good people.

lets hope things have changed
and
lets hope i made the right choice.

other poems...

to laura:

laura
as you soar

through an
endless war
for a
sacred cause
an abandoned wall of
another time
in another rhyme
of another world
you silly girl
as the penguins fly
and in the sky
i see your future race by
i know that
you have been
a best friend
to me/

to katie.

Katie
i know you crazy
but still you make me
smile
and make going online
worth while
for the stories you tell
and the times that fell

between us
the memories
grow
and the lines just flow
and you'll always know
that as time will pass
you're life will show
that sometimes
you dont have to grow up
you just have to live it up/.

and finally cuz Laura made me write a "song"

im thirsty for this
endless fount of water
thats not flowing through this stream
so as i pick up steam
i can only dream
that when i breathe
the sand wont sting
cuz all this time
i realize
that these words cant rhyme
with every line
so i go
for whats new
and i
know that whatever i do
i.

ill keep running back to you
cuz i cant stop drinking
from this stream
and i cant stop hearing you scream
that its not okay
that it shouldnt be this way
that it hurts to say that
you. dont. love. me.

six six. pick up sticks

because camila asked for one

camila.
if you will i
want to take the time
to rearrange your mind
and to speak in time
with the heartbeat
and pulse through this heat
of the tapping of my feet
and i hope that you will let me go
and just let me flow
with this song i wrote
for you
because you
asked me to
and i needed you to know
that this rhyming shit has
got to go
i cannot just sit here and
let them flow
anymore
so just
take this song
and tell me im wrong
before my mind explodes
and my heart implodes
and these veins just show
that i am alive.
with each word
and each rhyme
just know in time
i must stop with this flow.

ohkayy

now im done
this is no longer fun
speaking in puns
while twisting my tongue
to make words fit
so i cannot sit
and write down what i spit
oh God.

i need and asprin.

will someone please...

shut off my brain
this is driving me insane
my mind switching gears from lane to lane
giving into this curse
of thinking in verse
making things much worse
by writing
and not fighting
my fingers from typing
as the clock ticks
and the speed kicks
the racers pick
how to be quick
with a beat of a drum
and as we hum
to the sound that comes
flowing through this ink
everytime you think
that ill end this line
with another rhyme
you'll find
change is constant.

this is the song that never ends and it goes on and on my friendd...

it seems like a necessity
to write incessantly
and as you confess to me
that you try to
repress me
i care less that we
progress and she
will never rest
til he is never
at his best
so we see much less
and breathe in through this chest
as i let things rest
and let my feelings nest
so when she
begins breathe each breath
i know that i
will pass the test
and we'll be free.

and as it flows. with it. i grow.

i say im fine
when our hands entwine
when your name flows through my mind
and our hearts race to the beat of time
like
one and two and three and four and.
slow it down to
one. two. three. four.
now hold on
dont close that door
whatever happened to ill never ask for more
and that you're all i ever waited for
and when you push me down to that floor
just know that in my core.
all i can hear is
one. two. three. four.
faster now
one and two and three and four and
wait no
this isnt right
please please stop this fight
tell me everything will be just fine
and our heartbeat races to this time
and our hands still shake with every rhyme
and that name will forever run through my mind
as i rewind
all the time
that your lies shone through when you said.
"it.
will.
be.
fine."

oh and btw

Happy Anniversary!
one year for
sleepinglessanddreamingmore.blogspot.com



^_^

Oh my Lord. Lord. Lord. Lord.

POETRY Night was tonight
i read 3 origs. :]
[[the tree. liar. trade in... .]]


life is grand
and you cant understand
the rhythm flowing through my hand
racing through my mind
trying to rewind
to the time when
this night was not a then
to how this night will have no end.
its like when i breathe
you see my
ability
to speak free
be myself
read myself
breath myself
refine myself
never confine myself
praise myself
never needing to raise myself
i stay myself
make everyday myself
so i regress
never protest
notice
that i know this
that i wrote this
that i flow through this
that i live through this
that with every line
i find
that my time
is never over.
my time
is
now.

i love...

the irony of my life.
no lie...

so i was reading my first entry and editing it a lil so i could read it for poetry night tomorrow

and as soon as i read the first line

baby seasons change but people dont...

the song starts playing

it was pretty great :]

Choices

is an amazing book

see
when i was younger i watched this show
called so weird
and it was like a teen version
of the Twilight Zone
[[ cue theme song/swirly galaxies and shit ]]


and in one episode
the girl travels through
multiple universes
that change
everytime you make a choice

so say
choice A gets its own universe
and choice B....

so on.

and i always wondered
what would my universes be like?

would i end up in the same place?
somewhere better?
or somewhere far far worse?
would i even be alive?

oh my

here i go again
with whatshisface
on that bridge
waiting to see
whether
jumping off is right

play the what if game with me and george as he stares over the bridge and realizing his "wonderful life" is filled to the brim. good deeds and bad habits. listening to the music in my mind. wondering if someone will read this and find me sane instead of throwing it to the pits.
writing to do lists on a procrastinators whiteboard and accidentally erasing things not accomplished. changing the date to make you feel better.
dreamcatchers should work better. catch my dreams send them to the sky and hope that my time wont pass me by.

[[ Sound familiar? it should. it was my first entry.]]

and maybe it is
maybe all i have to do

is spread my arms out
and flap them a little
so that when i do






i dont crash that hard :]


that sounds surprisingly emo
haha.
and yet
i havent been sad in so long

strange huh?

so sunday was a weird kind of day
and if you knew me
at all
you'd know why.

and thats all i have to say about that.

its just another ordinary miracle today

fucking CVS commercial

ever since we've started singing that
in Sayreville Singers
I cant get it outta my head


adjlfakdj

and now I see that damn commercial everytime
I turn on the TV


gayyy



anywhoo.
i feel like being analytical now
care to join me?

lets go!
:]

1yearanniversary

on blogger
thurssdayyy

i should be obnoxious and post like
8920819023898904829
new posts! :]

so make me promises

the kind i know you cant keep
and while im losing my mind
i hope you're home finding sleep
'cuz you and i both know that thats not the case
because that look on your face
gives all your secrets away.

I'm just sort of having one of those amazing weeks
one right after the other
and I have this feeling
deep into the pit of my stomach
that something AWESOME
is going to happen.

should i be scared?

i mean lets look through this blog
and tally up my amazing skill at predicting
those kinds of things

not exactly a great record


but i have hope.

and hope.
is good.

:]


btw.

5 years tomorrow! :]

Merry Christmas...

i could care less.

uhm i have something to say.

1499
5254
143

4 is a constant
^_^

i would LOVE for you to figure it out.

Chicago is so Two Years Ago

You want apologies?
Well you might hold your breath
Until your breathing stops forever
[Forever]
The only thing you'll get
Is this curse on your lips
I hope they taste of me forever
[Forever]

which reminds me...

I saw Val and Chris
last week
for the first time in
4 years?

crazy to even think that its been
that long since i've seen my father's "family"

I've missed them both so much
and I've always looked up to them
since i was little

Chris has a wife now
and a beautiful baby girl.
[[ but i see his eyes and i realize that the more and more he does. the more he looks like my father. i cant stand to hear that he's working all the time just to keep up with everything and the heavyset look in his eyes has stayed on him. tattooed to show how much he works for his family.
it makes him look much older than he is.]]


Valerie is still the same in her young ways
and i love that.
she's always been fun and free
she's also married and has a nice
apartment

but i wonder.
how is Martha?
i havent seen her in i dont know how long
how is Dina?
does she still hate me?
is she still mad that i dont call/talk to/see her?
even if she abandoned me?
and my father?

i dont want to complicate my life with them.
but i dont want either of them to die angry

its not my place.
i shouldnt care.

We're off to see the wizard...the wonderful wizard of...Weddings?

blah blah blahhhhh

this whole
my mom's getting married in september thing
is much busier than i thought

haha

we're going dress shopping today
this time for the bridesmaids
since my mom already got her dress.


hmmm.
im so happy for my mom.
:]

i guess to make up for

the dream i had the other day

[[that stupid ass dream that inspired the poem below...]]


the night before last
i had an amazing dream


that just
made up for the one before.

:]

Guess what?

almost a year on blogger!

w00t!

:]

wow have i changed

ha ha.

A Band In Hope

is an amazing album

[[ by the matches ]]

and no that is not the album papercut skin is on

[[ thats Decomposer ]]


anyywhoo

i just love this band because of

their constant play on words
such as the title of their new cd

A Band In Hope <3
[[ abandon hope ]]


its pretty great <3

ilovethissong<3

The Matches:: Papercut Skin<333

Day out, day in
It's the alarm versus me
and the snooze button wins.
I've been waking all my life
to become what I'm going to be.
I'm a crow, la da da da da da
A headstone

Day out, day in
and begin again

Day out, day in
recycle bins
cash out, cash in
debit pins
day out, day in
the paper cuts my skin again
skin again

Cash out, cash in
I can burn all I earn
on some weakness or whim
without thinking
I'm a mark for their marketing plans
I'm Americancer
A Myspace romancer

Cash out, cash in
and begin again

Day out, day in
recycle bins
Cash out, cash in
debit pins
Day out, day in
the paper cuts my skin again
skin again

Day out, day in
Vitamins
Get out, get in
Vicodin
Day out, day in
the paper cuts my skin again
skin again

All ye, all ye, come home free
Ollie Ollie oxen free
Day in, day out
I call time out

All ye, all ye, come home free
Ollie Ollie oxen free
Day in, day out
I call time out
I call time out

Give out, give in
If a man's hands show his trade does it suit me then
This papercut skin that makes me wince with each hand
I'm required to
shake,
shake,
shake,
shake

Day out, day in
recycle bins
cash out cash in
debit pins
Day out, day in
the paper cuts my skin again
skin again

Day out, day in
Vitamins
Get out, get in
Vicodin
Day out, day in
the paper cuts my skin again
skin again
skin again,
skin again

I call time out
Ollie Ollie oxen free

If dreams were reality

If my dreams were real
I would go crazy
being chased by vacuum cleaners
and people stealing Charmin Ultra
from shop-rite

If my dreams were real
I would find $800
in a bag under my deck

If my dreams were real
I would meet my great grandfather
even though he's dead
and taken to the places he said
he cherished

If my dreams were real
i would watch you fall down
an endless flight of stairs

If my dreams were real
i would have been
Shot
Drowned
chased
attacked

If my dreams were real
you would hug me
hold me
love me
kiss me

but they're not.

My dreams are still
and forever will be
My dreams


and for that.
im glad.

sometimes dreams
shouldnt come true.