Wednesday, June 18, 2008

As the years go by, i realize, i shouldnt be afraid to fly.

i should be terrified


hahaha
jayykayy
[[or maybe not? idk. ask Freud]]

HAPPY 200th Post!!!


:]

anyway
as for today?
it felt like any other day
but omg
im a SENIOR NOW!!!

thats sooo scarryyy

you have no idea


i didnt go to graduation
on the one hand i did want to
but on the other
i really didnt

those people i was close to
i said my goodbyes

but i cant even imagine that in one year
that will be me

haha
i just hope i remember to take my diploma after i shake the principal's hand
[[ family insider. you wouldnt understand ]]

my God
where do i go from here?

my dad has been trying hard to convince me out of my English Major
and i really dont know what to do

i mean.
yeah im good at Marketing and Business [[i already found that out this year]]
but there are so many other things i want to do

and it hurts to think that my dad doesnt want me to do what i want most
i know he only has my financial security in mind
but writing is my passion

and i dont want to take it away
or have it taken from me.

but i also dont want to let him down
i know that he doesnt want me to live the life he did
but im not
and i know that English is what i want to do

ive spent all my life trying to figure out who i am
and this is it.

writing is who i am.
i cant change that

i know in the end my dad wont care what i choose
because i know at the end of the day he'll still love me

so why do i keep telling him ill change my major?
i never thought id have this problem

*Sigh*
i cant give up what i want most in this world
and i cannot sit in a cubicle for the rest of my life

nor can i do the things that my aunt does
hm.

i just hope that
whatever i do
i dont fail at it.
i want to be a successful writer.
and i know i can be

but still...
what if..
i dont make it with my books?

then what?

and i also want to take some form of music/theater

am i spreading myself to thin?
too far across the board?

w/e
i dont wanna think about this anymore
it makes my heart hurt

its the first day of summer

lets make this count

Oh NINE
So FINE!!

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