I feel like...

everything is happening so fast.

how the hell is it already March!?
it just dawned on me.

Opening night is in two weeks
and i feel like I'm gonna cry.

I want everything to slow down
i feel like the world is spinning so fast and i cant seem to align myself according to its axis.
and when i think i do.
it flips.

does that make any sense?
i doubt it.

nothing i say makes sense.
not even to me half the time.

sometimes it makes me feel like a fraud.

and yet.
in the same way that i want everything to slow...
i want time to fly fast.
i want to graduate
i want to leave
i want to find myself more than i have
i want to...
i dont know.
i dont know what i want
it seems that lately i never do.

and in a way
im so grateful im never home
because to be honest
i need to stay busy.
i need to have a reason to not stop to think
because i know that if i do.
i wont know what to do with myself.

oh God.
where do i go from here?

i dont want to leave everyone i love.
but i want to
but i dont

ajkld;joiane;dlks/pn;fnd;jshnsdbhfea
im sick of being scared
but i dont know how to not be.

the truth is:
im not sure at all.
im just as confused as everyone else.
i just do a damn good job at bluffing

sometimes i can even fool myself.