i am incredibly exhausted.
and i have no idea why.
im usually soooo hyped up in weather like this.
but today im just akljgv;oidsnvoleanwd;ovcl
i think its just cuz yesterday was sooo busy
running around doing things for Poetry Night
[[which was incredibly amazing. ill get to that in a bit]]
and running to a Singers concert
[[also amazing but not as exhilarating nor as refreshing]]
and then back to Poetry.
i cannot believe that its been four years since i timidly joined the poetry club
i cannot believe how much it has grown since we started it.
and above all i never imagined how much it has helped me
how much it has changed me
how much it has saved me.
like theater, Poetry club was my release
the only time where i can run around free and do what i wanted without being afraid of letting myself show.
last night.
looking into that crowd. and realizing that my poetry meetings were numbered.
i wanted to cry.
That club has been my sanctuary.
those people: my family. my pastors. my congregation.
Writing poetry wasnt just an Anti-Drug
it was a lifesaver.
a way to let out everything that ive felt in these past 4years
from sheer happiness. to love. to insanity. to delusional. to depressed. to suicidal. to recovery. to sanity. to happiness. and finally back to love.
i cannot imagine what my life in highschool would have been like without Ms. Scarpari
and everyone else in that club
It was my home away from home
and although i can come back and visit next year
it will never be the same.
and that is exactly how i feel about the theater.
it went from being a place to hide out with a best friend
after poetry club meetings, running around
to a place to wait.
a place to hide.
a place to forget
a place to remember
a place to call my own.
Sanctuaries.
these are my sanctuaries.
and i know that after June i wont be able to claim them as my own
they will be someone elses.
and maybe
just maybe
in four years
ill watch someone else tell me the same.
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