I reread some old posts on my myspace blog
from three years ago.
I have no idea who that girl is.
when did she become me?
when did i allow her to live?
I am so glad I am not her anymore.
It hurts me.
to read those things.
to remember what it was to be like that.
God, i must sound crazy.
I must be crazy.
Either way.
I like being happy.
and i know this will last.
Im never gonna doubt that again.
Idk.
dont mind me.
im in a strange mood.
the truth is.
i have no idea what im talking about.
im just writing whatever i feel at the moment.
a dangerous thing, really.
ive never been this open about anything
i find that my filter is getting less and less
and im being more and more.
i only weed out the coarse things.
like a broken collander...
my toes are cold.
haha.
i think its a sign of cold feet.
nervousness.
what could i be nervous about
my heart was so heavy two minutes ago
and writing all that im thinking now makes me feel so light.
im no longer that girl.
but i still have to finish picking up her pieces.
she has one part missing.
now to find out how to bring it back together.
like a missing shell in humpty dumpty's egg.
all the kings men can not fix this.
i only need one.
and he's too far to fix.
not in distance no.
not physically.
i have to call my dad.
but how will i find the words to say?
this needs to be settled.
once and for all.
and maybe then...
this one way mirror.
won't reflect me any longer.
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